Last Night's Moon
by s1ncer1ty
Summary: It's hot -- bloody hot. And everyone's favorite Marauders have been brought into Dumbledore's office to discuss some rather ... shocking behavior that has plagued the Hogwarts grounds over the past few nights. Pure fluff, relatively pointless, but all in


"Last Night's Moon  
by s1ncer1ty

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* A/N: Just a silly little vignette, total fluff while I take a break from my angst-o-rama "Revenge" fic. Don't worry, I haven't given up on it. I'm just a l'il stuck. :) This thing is all conversation, all fluff, told by Dumbledore and everyone's favorite Marauders. If you need a distinction between who's speaking (though I tried to make it fairly clear for at least the important bits), I have a color-coded version on my website, located at: http://www.geocities.com/s1ncer1ty/nekey.html. Probably one of the most pointless things I've ever written, but do try to enjoy...

~*~

"Ah, boys, I've been expecting you. Do come in. Make yourselves at home, and don't mind the feathers. I'm afraid it's Fawkes' moulting season." 

"Keen! I'll bet Professor Adder would sell his soul for a handful of phoenix feathers." 

"Don't be so sure he hasn't sold it yet, Sirius." 

"Professor, may I --"

"Yes, Mr. Pettigrew, do feel free to take a seat if you wish. I suppose you're wondering why I've called the four of you into my office. There are no house points at stake here, so I'd like --" 

"Whatever Severus Snape told you, Professor, he's lying!" 

"Now, Mr. Black, don't be quite so hasty to jump to conclusions. You wouldn't want to incriminate yourself for something that has no bearing on what we're about to talk about." 

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." 

"Professor, if I may, why did you call us in here?" 

"There's no need to look so anxious, Mr. Potter. I simply wanted to bring a small matter into the open and get your take upon it. I've heard word about the school that there have been four boys, very likely restless due to the uncommonly hot weather across the country, spotted sneaking out each night across school grounds." 

"That's not so uncomm --" 

"Let me finish, Mr. Black. These four boys have been allegedly swimming in the moat each night. Without, dare I say, _proper_ Hogwarts attire." 

"Without proper Hogwart's attire? You mean in Muggle clothing?" 

"Don't you get anything, Peter? He means that they've been swimming in the nude!" 

"Oh! Oh, I get it now. Why are you asking if we've been --" 

"He isn't. He hasn't yet, at any rate." 

"Quite right, Mr. Lupin. Perhaps you could shed some light upon these mysterious boys who insist upon undertaking such lewd midnight forays." 

"No, sir. I'm afraid I don't know much about these lewd matters that you speak of." 

"I see. Mr. Black, would you mind telling me what you boys happened to be doing at midnight last night? I understand that it was devastatingly hot in the Gryffindor common room." 

"It was bloody hot, sir. And we were out last night, but well within permitted boundaries of our curfew." 

"Indeed? Please elaborate, if you would." 

"We just went for a walk around the inner grounds, by the Quiddich pitch. We were watching the moon." 

"You were watching Moony's moon, you mean." 

"Since you put it that wa-- Hey, wait! I wasn't watching _that_ moon!" 

"You were watching my bum? Sirius!" 

"Oh, come on! I just said I wasn't watching your arse!" 

"Why don't I believe you?" 

"Well, if it's there, of course I'm going to notice it! But it's not as if I was trying to stare at your arse. Besides, you were the one who insisted upon not wearing undergarments because it was 'too hot'... Ow! Why did you hit me, Potter?" 

"You deserved it, Black." 

"Boys, boys, we're getting off the subject here." 

"I apologize for my companions' outbursts. It won't happen again, will it, Reme?" 

"Hmph." 

"Jamie?" 

"I wouldn't count on it."

"Mr. Black, if you please. This is, as you must have gathered by now, a rather serious matter. Why, Professor Flitwick chanced to look out the window of his office and got quite a fright when he discovered four boys, without a stitch of clothing on, swimming in the moat! The charm he'd been performing backfired, and he nearly rocketed himself into the girls' lavatory on the floor above him!" 

"He must have gotten a look at Moony's moon." 

"More like your moon, Mr. I'm-So-Pale-I'm-Translucent Pettigrew. He probably thought he saw a ghost." 

"Would you mind not talking about either of your 'moons' right now and stick to the subject?" 

"So, none of you happen to know anything about the four mysterious night-swimmers and Hogwarts streakers?" 

"No, sir." 

"Of course not, professor." 

"What, did you really think it might have been us sneaking out to swim late at night?" 

"I'll admit, Mr. Black, that thought did cross my mind." 

"Well, it wasn't any of us, that's for certain." 

"We'd never do anything quite so impetuous. Or suggestive, sir." 

"Indeed, Mr. Lupin?" 

"Yes, sir. I'm afraid you've got the wrong set of boys." 

"Well, if you do happen to find those four boys who are roaming about the grounds without proper Hogwarts attire, do tell them that they face at least a week's worth of detention if they happen to be caught at it again." 

"An entire week, just for wanting some relief from this bloody heat?! -- I mean, yes, sir." 

"Yes, sir. We'll be certain to let them know." 

"That means you too, Sirius." 

"You're pushing it, Pettigrew." 

"Boys, I thank you for your assistance. You may leave. However, I request that you do keep me informed of any suspicious activity, such as swimming in the moat after hours. And do refrain from frightening Professor Flitwick again with your 'moons.'" 

"Yes, sir." 

"Thank you, professor." 

"We'll keep our eyes peeled for any suspicious activity, never you worry." 

"James Potter, if you would be so kind as to remain behind for a moment longer." 

"Yes, I'll catch up with you all later. What is it, Professor?" 

"I'd like for you to be perfectly honest with me, James. No need to worry about detention or points taken from your house." 

"Yes, sir." 

"You boys were up to no good last night, weren't you?" 

"But of course, Professor. We solemnly swear."

...owari... 


End file.
